Oct 16, 17, 18, 19 Update

It has been a very busy, rough few days. On Thursday the 16th Chelsea (my daughter), Brennan and I took the trip to Brennan's orphanage. I had wrestled with this for so many weeks and even that morning I had considered changing my mind. So many "what if's" ran through my head...as I'm sure most parents go through in this situation. Even on the car ride over there I had considered asking them to turn around. On our way there we got lost, several times. He slept the whole way there in the car and when we got there he clung to me. When we go outside he usually likes to be in the Boba pouch that I have with me (and I love it for bonding also). When we got to the orphanage he wanted in it and wrapped his little hands around my arms and rested his head on my chest. I immediately felt uneasy about being there. We waited outside for the lady to come and show us around so we took pictures. We were taken in and immediately told we could take pictures of empty rooms and hallways. We could not take pictures of any children no matter what. They had one person watching us to make sure we didn't take any pictures of children. I felt horrible since in the past year there were other families who took pictures of my little guy on their visit for us. There were four families waiting for information and photos from my visit and I had let them down. The first room they brought us to was the baby room where he use to sleep when he was younger. This room had about 10 little metal cribs in it. The next room was a room with little bunk beds. It took 5 nannies to figure out which bed my son use to sleep in. We took a picture of his bed. Then they showed us the shower room where they shower and brush their teeth, the bathroom, and the classroom. Then another nanny came up to us and took my son from me. Up to this point he had been holding tight to me and didn't want me to put him down. This nanny took him and started to walk away. HEY!!! Where are you going with my son??? Chelsea and I followed them and they took him to another classroom. They took him around and had him shake hands with all of his friends. His eyes never left me. They kept talking to him in Chinese and he kept looking at me standing in the doorway. Then they brought him out and all 5 ladies were talking to him in Chinese and I tried to pick him up and he started screaming. It broke my heart. I had no idea what they were saying to him. I was mad that they took him and kept thinking "I hope they aren't saying anything negative to him". I grabbed him and started to walk away from the classroom. I just wanted to leave! The lady directing our tour took us outside to the playground and told us that was his classroom's favorite play time. I could tell that children hadn't been on that playground for a very long time. He had no idea what to do on the playground. Then one of the nannies tried to bring his class outside to play with him. It was so confusing to him we picked him up and tried to leave. Then the lady took us to the building next door. There was a room with two nannies and about 15 children all range from 0 - 8 that were crawlers. The room had bars on the door and windows. The nannies didn't talk to the children at all. They just fed them and moved them. Then we went to the room next door where the more severely disabled children were. There were about 10 children in this room from about 5 years to about 10 years. They couldn't walk. Most had either eye issues, leg braces on, or were immobile. There was one little boy blind sitting in a corner banging his head on a bucket and no one talking to him or moving him. These nannies didn't talk to the children. There was one who had his head stuck in one of the seats and the nanny was getting mad because she couldn't get his head out. There was another laying on the floor next to the same nanny just crying. She looked at him several times and just ignored him. Then she finally picked him up and put him in a little chair. His legs couldn't move. They were stuck and he just cried. Then another nanny saw us watching him so she came over to pick him up and he finally stopped crying. My daughter (who says she will have a family that looks like Angelina Jolie) fell in love with another little boy in this room. He just stood at the cabinets smiling at her. He had no hair, he had leg braces on, he didn't look like he could walk or move but he just stood there smiling at her. He was adorable and stole her heart. I think he may have changed her heart so much. This last group of children were all so beautiful. They were not handled much or spoke to. These children all stole my heart!!!

After this we left to go visit Brennan's finding spot. We were almost there and Brennan started yelling that he had to go to the bathroom. So we got out and my guide told me to let him go in the bushes. It happened that he went to the bathroom right exactly at his finding spot. In the bushes, by the bus stop outside the park. Wow, son... really? The park was beautiful but our guide didn't take us in. We were allowed to take pictures of the bus stop and then we left. Disappointing!!! Then we started our long drive back to the hotel and he screamed most of it. He was done driving, he was hungry, he was frustrated, he was just DONE!!! We stopped and got him something to eat and that seemed to help for a little bit. It was a long rough drive. This was a very large temper tantrum. We had never seen a temper tantrum yet. I am not sure if the confusion from the orphanage visit had brought on the temper tantrums or if this was something else. We got out the balloons in the van, We tried tickling, playdough, cars, washing with wipes, and everything else in our bag of tricks. Finally we were back at the hotel. It was a very rough day for all of us. We were all done...we stayed in the hotel and just relaxed the rest of the night.

On Friday, after we skyped with the family back home we took a taxi to Shamian Island. When we got to the point where our guide told us to go we asked for directions. We were sent the wrong direction but we had a great time. We got some great deals and saw some very interesting things. We bought Brennan some beautiful blue Chinese Silks. After we got back we realized this wasn't Shamian Island we went to but we still liked it.

On Saturday, after we skyped with the family back home we took a taxi to the shoe warehouse part of Guangzhou. It really is amazing. There are booths upon booths upon booths of shoes. It was like a giant outdoor flea market of nothing but shoes. Each booth had hundreds of shoes. They only carry smaller than a men's 8. So we didn't get any shoes. We headed back to the hotel, met our guide for paperwork and then went to dinner at the Mexican restaurant with our travel group. Brennan was overtired and was not his usual well-behaved self. He is not a late person.

On Sunday, we woke up, skyped with the family back home, had breakfast and then went down to the lobby to meet our travel group for our group picture. After the group picture (which of course we dressed Brennan in his Chinese silks) we went in the garden out back of the hotel for pictures of my little boy. Then we changed and went shopping again. We went to the silk market and then to the real Shamian Island. We found it and got pictures at the famous statue spot.

Brennan is very spirited, he knows what he wants and doesn't want. He is learning. He laughs a lot. He loves to give kisses and hugs. He loves to be held. He loves his mama and MeiMei. He loves to talk to everyone back home on skype. If I'm at my computer he comes running over to see if the kids are on. It is cute. He has thrown some major tantrums but it is to be expected. His whole life was just turned upside down. He doesn't like to stay up late. He loves baths. He loves mama putting lotion on when he gets changed. He loves his feet rubbed. He is learning to let mama take him potty, change him, put his shoes on and feed him. Yes, he can do all of these things on his own but he needs to learn he has a mama now and she will take care of him. He is learning. We keep telling him "mama do" and he will smile and say "mama do". It is the cutest. He now tells me he has to go potty (in Chinese but not sure how to spell what he is saying) then when he gets in the bathroom he says "mama do". I love how he is learning. He says "water" when he sees water fall or pond. He knows names of his family. He says "bye bye" and knows what it means. He even crawled up on my lap today to cuddle for his nap (he usually snuggles next me in the bed for nap). It is rough but it is amazing and worth it!!! I love my little dragon prince.