I have tossed it around several times on how I would start my blog. I have even debated for several months if I should or not. Tonight I was encouraged to through friends and (strangely enough) through a movie.
How can I be encouraged through a movie?
No...that's not how I want to start it!
How did I come to adoption?
No...that's not how I want to start!
Who are my children?
No...that's not how I want to start!
Why blog?
No...that's not how I want to start!
Reflections during this journey.
No...that's not how I want to start!
I will start with ME!
What? Selfish...right? No! I have learned along the way of this beautiful journey that thinking about myself is not selfish but required.
I am the Director of Children's Programs at our local Methodist church. That's great! Right? So why did I feel lead to teach a bible study to Mom's of Young Children? God knows why! It is part of MY journey that he has laid out for me. A journey I am so happy to take. Our first class I had the mothers separate their paper into four boxes and in the first they were to describe them self. I did every task with the class. Then you write down how others describe you in the next box. Then you write down how you "See" yourself in another box. In the last box you write your big stressor. Then it came time to analyze those four boxes. Try this right now!
The first box is usually filled with titles. Right? Mom, Wife, Sister, etc. Why? You aren't a title. You are a person! You are a (blonde, brunette, red head, etc). You are someone who likes to do crafts, make jewelry, sew, etc. So why did you just put titles and the first one is usually MOM? Because somewhere along the way you lost YOU!!!
The second box is usually filled with nice, sweet things! Yay! (we will go over this after the fourth box).
The third box is usually filled with very few words that match the second box. Why do you see yourself differently than how everyone else sees you? They are usually very judgmental like Controlling, Disciplinarian, Stressed, Grumpy, Messy, Not the perfect housekeeper, etc.
The fourth box is usually hard for everyone to narrow down to one! That should tell you something.
Their homework? To look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself some of the things from box 2 that are very positive and hard for you to see about yourself!!!
So what does this have to do with anything? Keep reading!
Several months ago I started an adoption support group in my town. There are over 40 families in our county and surrounding counties that have adopted or are adopting. We are in small counties and towns. Not very popular at all. There are amazing families that have adopted through US Foster Care System, families that have adopted through the Domestic Infant program and families that have adopted Internationally (so many wonderful countries represented). Each month we have a Parent's Night Out. We go to either the local Coffee Barn or Panera. We eat, talk, share stories, support each other, and laugh, laugh, laugh (which we ALL need)! It is just for a few hours but everyone feels so refreshed and the support is amazing! Tonight we had our Parent's Night Out but for once we excluded the men (sorry) and met at one of the other mother's home. So it was just a Mom's Night Out AND we watched the Christian movie "Mom's Night Out". It was a great, great movie. I laughed and I also sat back and listened. Trace Adkins shares the whole point of the movie "Just be you...it's enough".
Sometimes we don't listen to that. We think that our house has to be spotless, we have to always get everything perfect, we have to always was every pan and dish before we go to bed, we have to make sure our child is bathed every day, we have to make sure they are up at the same exact time every day, we have to make sure we don't forget anything at the grocery store, we have to make sure we don't ever run out of anything, we have to.... WAIT! The list goes on...doesn't it? But why? Why do we feel like we have to do ALL of this ALL of the time? We don't! But WE think we do and WE stress over everything if it doesn't go according to our plan. Right? But why? God says that he loves us no matter what. No matter what our house looks like, even if we left a pan (or two or three) in the sink over night, even if we skipped baths one night (or two.. I mean they didn't even go outside to play), even if we woke up with only 15 minutes to get the kids up, dressed, fed, and on the bus (that wasn't fun). NONE of those mean you are a failure, or not a good mom, or not a good housekeeper... What does it mean? It means you took the extra time to read that extra book to your youngest because they said "pwetty pwease one mow book"...it means you took an extra long hot shower because you needed the extra time behind a locked door with no one nagging you to do something or find something or fix something...it means YOU did YOU!!! You were able to focus on what is important...not selfish...important. Sean Astin said in the movie". He talks about an oxygen mask on a plane. They instruct you to put your mask on first before helping others because you can't help others if you aren't able to function. So use that in real life. You can't help others if you can't help and take care of you. I teach that exact topic in my Mother's Group at church. I teach my girls this same thing. I tell other moms that this is important. But do I practice what I teach? Lately I do. I go to the Parent's Night Out every month. If I need new shoes (because if I step in a puddle one more time with that whole in my shoe and squish around in the store I just might freak out) I buy them. Do I spend money on me frivously? No! Do I still feel guilty spending money on myself? Yes! Do I feel guilty leaving my little ones with one of their older sibling while I go to the Parent's Night Out? Yes! I do it though. Why? Because I have to take care of me before I can take care of anyone else. My children need me to be at my best... not my cleanest, not my most organized, not anything except me.
So, why talk about me for my first post? Because I want you to get to know me! Not my titles, not my responsibilities, just me. (It is hard to do it without titles...try it).
So, here I am! I am over 40 years old (I won't tell you anything more specific...lol). I grew up in the same house until I moved in with my husband. I have two brothers, two sisters, so many nieces, nephews, Aunts, Uncles, mother, step father, and so many more. I like to read (when I find the time). I like to cook. I love to spend time with my family. I like playing board games with my family. I have three daughters and three sons (with one more son almost home). I am adopting a beautiful boy from China. I enjoy laughing, spending time with the horses, making jewelry, helping others and supporting my friends. I am a very proud mother. I am loyal, trusting, trustworthy, sincere, cautious, and tired.
My life has always revolved around my children and I am sure it will revolve around my children and grandchildren until the day I die. I love with all of my heart. I know my dedication to my children is all worth it when I see the love my children have for others in their life. It makes me very proud to be their parent!
So there I am. Michelle.
I will introduce my family in the next post!
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